MASKS

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask. — Agatha Christie

I tried telling that to the policeman as he brandished a lathi all set to give me a thrashing for venturing out without a mask in these troubled times. But he didn’t quite appreciate the philosophy and I have to type this standing up.

The other morning as I labored through my 45 minutes of mandatory perambulating, I saw a large figure emerge on the horizon. Now in a typical Mumbai setting, the horizon is usually no more than 30 feet away, because we don’t believe in wasting land and build apartments, multiplexes, shanties, godowns and anything that we can, but we don’t disrespect land by leaving it open.

As the figure approached me, I realized he was gesturing in my direction. But, the pre-dawn darkness, me not wearing my glasses and the mask that he was wearing, made it impossible for me to recognize him.

In any event we passed each other and despite the obstacles to mutual facial recognition that I just mentioned, we somehow managed to ask and confirm to each other that our kids, spouses and jobs were still around and all of this without a word being said.

When I put some distance between me and John Doe, I felt the same kind of relief that a smaller planet must be feeling when it passes by Jupiter and misses running into it by a few thousand miles.

The Mask is causing social anarchy. Random strangers are exchanging meaningful glances and chatting up. It’s like one giant masquerade ball and all this in the time of quarantine.

In a country where a pancha (throw for the uninitiated), wrapped around the face typically did the job of keeping fumes, dust, odor, creditors and suspicious police from getting in your face, the imposition of wearing masks has now given rise to a new caste system.

At the top of the new social order are the people who wear an N95. The N95s are the new iPhone XI. Those who have it are flaunting it.

The also rans are making do with surgical masks. This is the burgeoning middle class, which is every retail marketeers’ El Dorado.

There is little to distinguish within this middle class, except probably the color of the masks and if the masks use elastic or cotton strings.

The haves within this caste have masks equipped with elastic material. The have-nots make do with string-based masks which by virtue of being less convenient put the people using these at a disadvantage when it comes to social hierarchy.

The absolute dregs of the society are the ones who wear fabric masks, which can be reused after washing. They almost invariably come in the color green and often look like it has taken the sacrifice of several surgical scrubs to get these masks into existence. They are eco-friendly and cheap and convenient and mark you forever as a person who is practical, environment conscious and frugal. I don’t know of anyone who has managed to overcome stigma of this kind.

I understand that some Uber cool socialites have commissioned Saby to come up with a signature line of bespoke masks. Saby is inspired by the vibrancy of the Corona colors and the ethnic chic of homegrown linen. Rani is going to be the showstopper at the virtual ramp walk it seems. Her mask could also be transparent so that her signature smile can be seen.

At the other end of the spectrum Swarovski has come up with a line of over the top crystal studded masks. Naomi has already done a few shoots for the print ads I am told.

Benneton of course has come up with rainbow colored masks to show solidarity with the LGBTQ segment of the COVID affected patients.

The fair versus dark complexion division is now history. Now you will be judged by the mask you are wearing. For fairness cream manufacturers this is the black swan event.

Victor Hugo once said “Virtue has a veil, vice a mask”and then Jagjit Singh for decades crooned hypnotically “sarakti jaye ruk se naqaab , ahista ahista”.

While the veil may or may not come off anytime soon, the masks are here to stay.